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[04 Jun 2004|04:02pm] |
i've been happy recently, which is never a bad thing. i usually don't like the holidays much. not becuase i love college or anything. ha! but just becuase i dont really get to see my friends as much. HOWEVER! turns out i got to see them lots..AND lots!
Thursday - went into Lincoln with Debbee! we met her new friend from..erm, Grimsby i think? anyway, he was called bryan and he was very nice. we went back to mine and drank tea and watched Bo selecta. Met up with Richard and then all went down to Starbucks. Ahh STARBUCKS!<3 i never have anything different when i go there though. i don't like coffee! the smells nice, but i dont like the taste of the stuff. so it was a hot chocolate for me...again.
It was raining really hard that day and my feet got wet.we all walked Bryan to the bus station and met another man calle dBryan..but we called him Oscar. he was about..well, im no good at guessing ages but he was old, and he wanted debbees phone number. i could tell debbee wanted to give it to him but see got an attack of the nerves.
Thursday Night - went to debbee's and had a ruddy good time. Sol came over and the three of us had a party! drinking games, the lot! debbee says i cheat at the drinking games but i dont! I DONT!
After we were all a little merry, we sat down and watched Alan Partridge! i swear its x34728436 times funnier when your drunk!
Anyway, photos were taken so enjoy..
( OOOH! YOUR GUNA HAVE A GOOD TIME!! )
I apologise for how bad i look but hey! never mind!
next day, we went to sols and that was good. we watched all of The Day Today and played with the kitten. shes a Q.T! ha!
anyway, just thought i'd let you all in on the that has ben the past few days. i have more to update but can do that later. yeeeah. <33
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[01 Jun 2004|02:57pm] |
better get pictures out of the way first.
( drama! )
I'm going to take some more soon. my dad's just got back from Mexico so there cameras here also. too bad it's raining again.
Well, after my brief brake from the internet, i thought i'd come back to say hey n whatnot. i've been pretty good. the holidays are boring. i miss seeing people.
Richard and i had a huge pillow fight in his bed last night! that was so much fun. then we lay there and watched tv all night. we saw that scary show on channel 4, with the ghosts! wow! that was fucking awesome! richard was so scared. it was funny.
been feeling strange again thepast few days. i think i miss the security that i get with some people. i miss havent people there. close by to me. </3
sorry this is short..bee's just come to the door. will write again soon. xxx
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[28 May 2004|01:52pm] |
So, i have plans tonight..good plans! i just hope nothing ruins them now that i've got my hopes up.
Bee's coming to Lincoln later. we going it to Lincoln to party likes it 1999, baby! i know Rides the Bus are playing somewhere in Lincoln so hopfully we will follow the music and watch them for a while! Cock yer leg are playing too but..meh. Then, once we found ryan and who ever he's brought with him, we shall go to that happiest place on earth - SUGARCUBES!!
No money = No drinking. oh well. i only really wanna dance and meet new people so all will be well.
Last night was fun. Richard and i stayed in all night and we played SNAP for ages. i'd like to point out i won everytime. then we put on all of his really old cd's and danced to them. it's been a while since i've danced on a bed to the Spice Girls but it still felt just as good.
<3333
The end<3
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[27 May 2004|11:15am] |
i could actually be bothered to do a good job shaving my legs last night so im prancing around lincoln today in a skirt. for the first time in ages! just thought i'd share. i like skirts. ahem..anyway.
Yup, so i had my drama exam. we got to meet the examiner before we performed and he looked so scary. turned out he was quite cool actually so that was all right. THEN all the performing arts people came into the studio to watch us. i was so fucking nervous. i felt so sick. Last nights performance had so many things go wrong and i knew it was going to happen all over again. twice as bad.because thats the way it works!! when your gettins assesed, things are bound to go wrong.
Turns out, however, that NOTHING WENT WRONG!! woo! i rememberd every fucking word! and i even cried in it! (which i dont usualy do) and the little problem we had about the guy slapping me went out the window. he hit me so fucking hard in the face. it hurt so bad but i was so glad he had done it.
the only thing that didnt go right was on one part, 'my husband' was ment to throw a tray of cups at me, and they were ment to smash every where. every time we've done this it workd, but last night they bounced on the floor and hit the sound man. none of them smashed! i wanted to laugh but i held it back.
yup, so all in all, it went very well!
Nobody spoke to me about it though. asked me how it went. even my mum didnt know. maybee i hadnt mentioned it but im pretty sure i had done. that made me feel abit crap. SAM was texting me last night, and told me well done n everything. he makes me smile. <33 then mr harris text me and we spoke for ages about random things like 'not the nine o'clock news', brasseye, the day today, alan partridge, him coming to visit blah blah blah. i hope he does come to visit. it'l be so strange seeing him again.
i sat alone in my room last night. listening to sad songs. i felt really low last night. i think if i just sit by myself, i alow myself to think about the bad things that are going on in my life. i really should do that..i know i cant handle it well.
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[25 May 2004|01:19pm] |
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Nervous! i admit it now. i am nervous.
i'm getting assessed soon on my performance in this play. and i know im not going to do well. i only just know my lines. and i know i can always improvise it. but its when the other guys mess their lines up, it throws me right off track too. i could be going through my script now but i keep putting it off.
i dont want to talk about it any more!
saw my house mate again last night for the first time in ages which was cool. we were mid conversation when he said 'my god! not being pervy but your boobs have gotten bigger!' was quite embarrassing but we carried on talking. we told each other about our weekends and talked about who we want to fill our spare room. we were going to have this girl called mia, but she took an over dose the other day and cut (scratched at) her wrists. shes out of hospital now and still wants to move in. However, richard thinks shes a bit mad now and doesnt want her living with us. so we're back to square one. we need a new flat mate!! really badly! any body want to move to lincoln and live with me, leave your details and i'll get back to you.
don't all rush at once...
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[24 May 2004|05:47pm] |
i had a picnic in the art gallery gardens to day. it was so perfect. i was with darren and john and the three of us, for the first time, really bonded. i told them about all the shit that has happen with my family over the years and they really seemed to listen to me. which i was really thankful for. Usually, when i talk about my past to people, i always think there not listening to me. which pisses me off. but the two of them really listend to me. so thank you
rehearsal was in the art gallery gardens aswell. i really couldnt concentrate though. i had loads of things on my mind. i just wanted to be on my own after a while.
came online and had a long talks with people. sorted stuff out. left feeling awful.
sam cheered me up loads though which put the smile back on my face. thankyou angel <33
organising a big night out on friday. have got ryan and mark to come out so garenteed fun!<3
anyway, im boring myself with this post so i better stop now. thanks bee for helping me with everything <3 love you <3
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[24 May 2004|09:47am] |
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do you think about me... half as much as i think about you?
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[23 May 2004|10:12pm] |
if i've done this right, you can go look at some pictures i took a while back...IF!
( bangbang )
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[23 May 2004|02:43pm] |
i've just had a 1hour long play fight with my brother. i totally lost! i didnt realise how strong he was! on one part of our fight, i smashed my head against the wall and was lying there for a while, thinking about the pain. then he pinned me down and put the Exorcist music on. I HATE IT!!! that music really creeps me out. kids at school used to do that to me too in my drama lessons. bitches. i managed to brake free and run out side until he had turned it off.
Had to get up early this moring and do the whole long walk to work. Got there and my two bosses were sat outside playing with their kids. 'somethings not right?!' i thought. turns out they cancled the party i had to waitress for.so i could have stayed in bed! tut. on the walk home two cars and one motorbike beeeped at me. i dont have a clue who they were? have a feelin dan and michael were in one of the cars. hmmm.
Dads in mexico now. i so wish i could have gone with him. damn exams! </3
going to debies tonight..well, this afternoon. shes making me a cd. with all our love songs on it!! yeeea!
feeling miss-mactched again today. gosh, i dont know what to think.
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[22 May 2004|04:11pm] |
me and debbie and melissa went out last night. to this horrible place. full of strange people! it was called ratty's and everyone in there did infact look like a rat. me and debbie told this crowd of guys we were twins and they believed us. ha! melissa had guys falling over themselves to get next to her. it was quiet amusing to watch. granted, she is very attractive. she got the whole blonde, ditzy, beautiful thing going on. but debbie and i agreed there and then that we would rather go out with each other than her. heh!
we have plans to go to cubes on friday so if anyones in lincoln and wants to join us? i think we're going to do the twin thing again..it seems to get us attention. matching outfits!! think so!! <3
not much more to write about now...
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[21 May 2004|08:12pm] |
i hate my face.
( !!! )
thank you to beee for helping mee! <333
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[21 May 2004|11:35am] |
i was walking down the street last night and this huge black (sorry, coloured..or whatever) man with all his bling, and his stupid walk, came up to me and stared saying 'let me see your teeshirt! let me see your teeshirt!' so i was like 'erm, ok.' he had a look and then i turned to run off and he shouted 'no, let me see it!' so i just turned to him and he started moving my jacket so he could see it all. i shouted 'i've gota go!' and ran off. as i was walking off i could still hear him saying 'yea, thats cool!' and 'gota get me one of those'.
i dont like to leave the house now.
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[20 May 2004|03:39pm] |
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The Cranberries |
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i think last night was the most drunk i've ever been and i didnt spend any money. whaa? makes no sense!
it was fun last night but not as good as indie night. that still amazes me how fun it was.
we played drunk jenga before we went out. I won. i am the best. and then we played prison rule jenga. won that too. ha.
<3tried to phone benn like a million times!1 but he was sleeping. i was rather upset by this. heh!<3
i've got to film this 'party in the pub' thing tonight. god, i really dont want to stand in a room with the dickheads from college for longer than i have too.
my trip to italy is all booked now. im going to paris, then switzerland, then rome, then vennice, then paris again, then home, and im done. i cant wait. im going to live in italy some day, i swear.<3
meeting debbie today. i miss that girl. <3
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[19 May 2004|11:14am] |
i feel a mixture of things today. which is different. <3
(this part will only be found remotely interesting by debbie most probably)Mr Harris text me last night!! eeeeeep! wow, i cant describe how shocked and happy i was! he said he had writen me a letter in feb and kept losing it (whatever) and...he misses me! well, i'm guessing he means talking to me but meh. we spoke for hours and it was so good. we wants me to send him a picture of me 'looking like a woman' cause apparently i am one now. ha.
Alex texted me, blah blah blah. im not very nice about him when i should be.
Spoke to an old friend called nick last night! we hadn't spoken in ages so it was good to catch up. i actually only found out his name last night coz i had always called him superman (coz he looks like clarke kent. not in the superman film, but in the smallvillie programme...mmmm!) he decided to make up a superhero name for me so we could be parters and save the world together! so my name is VIXEN and my special power is the power of SEDUCTION!! i can make any man or woman fall in love with me! *sigh* if only! id just like to point out, he made that up, not me. i dont think so highly of myself as he does!
Scream tonight. i have no money. i hope they play britney. <3.
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[18 May 2004|01:35pm] |
ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.ohmy.
KILROY IS IN LINCOLN!!
my brother just phoned me and told me! he sounded so excited!
<33
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[18 May 2004|12:53pm] |
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you think you know some one, but you don't.
it makes me mad how people can change so quickly. and they can just dismiss feelings they ever had for you.
this hot weather is getting to me.
My portfolio is due in this after noon and its not finished. fingers crossed it will be but the heat is slowing me down.
Ok, so Scream again on Wednesday. that'll make me happy. just thinking about last time makes me smile. Alex will be there so we will get to meet each other with out being drunk. He doesn't remember what i look like. Ha! i remember him though. he looks like that guy from Hollyoaks. Darren i think his name is? except he dresses alot better. anyway.
My brother went in to hospital the other day. he got this lump on the insde on his throat and it started bleeding. sexy! (not sure why i said that) i think he's ok now. they've given him tablets.
i wish i had a swimming pool...
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[17 May 2004|11:38am] |
alright, so saturday night was AMAZING!! i seriously can't remember when i had that much fun!
Basicly, me, richard, mia, jenny and ben had a meal and then decided we wanted to go out. ben and i really didnt want to go anywhere with dance music so we decided to go to the indie night at Scream. (hey, its better than dance music..or CUBES!!)we say down stairs in quayside for a few hours. we kept buying cokes cause i had put a bottle of vodka in my bag so i was bar tender for the night. HA! im so sneeky. even thought i cant stand vodka! its tastes like the devil. anyway. Scream opened and we got to jump the queue cause ben knows the guy on the door. we got in and i wasn't 'happy drunk' yet so we got more drinks and thats where the fun started! once everyone was kinda drunk, everyone was dancing with everyone! it was so much fun! i got a drink thrown down my top by a drunk girl so i gave her the finger (when she wasn't looking of course. im not that brave) and this boy thought i was doing it at him. he looked quite hurt! so on the off chance your reading this (and i know your not) im sorry!<3 i found if you brake away from the people your with and dance in the middle of the floor on your own, you'll get nice people come up to you. like ewan and alex!!! they were so nice to me! especially ewan. he was possible the sweetest guy i've ever met! it was so strange because it was like we had know each other before (i know that sounds oh so corney). i fell in love with his belt and his boxer shorts. and i can remember being i right prick and undoing my trousers to show him my knickers. GOD! he said they were pretty though, so all was well. we spoke for a while and it turns out he lives in Sheffield, and has only come down for a friends birthday. i was abit upset about that but hey. when it ended he walked me out side and we hugged for ages and he was saying the nicest things. it was really horrible saying good bye and it was so strange because we had only just met. he left and that was that.
Alex text me last night. we spoke for a while. actually till 2 in the morning. the conversation was..erm, alright i guess. he wants to meet up again soon. not sure if i will. then again, know one else will want to so i might aswell. heh.
i can't believe how much fun i had. i actually used the phrase 'i dont want this night to end!' haha. loser.
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[14 May 2004|08:45am] |
well, last night was fun to say the least.
had to get the bus home (god, i hate the bus) but i got a text from lloyd when i got on!! shocked i was! i havent heard from him in forever! he asked if i got all my things back ok and then was saying how he missed hanging out. i guess i do to. i had fun with lloyd. anyway, we spoke for the whole bus journey so it wasn't so bad.
had to babysit last night and i made one of them cry. he was really pissing me off though!! i told him he couldn't play his guitar so he had a big girly strop. loser! hes only 7 but hes still a loser. mwah, i love kids.
oh yeah! also last night, i got a text from phil! a guy i met at cubes once! we spoke for ages and then it just stopped which i was kinda pissed of about cause i liked him at the time but meh.but he text me asking if i was at the brand new gig cause he thought he saw me. but i wasn't. and then he came out with this huge apology for being a cunt and we ended up talking all night. i forgot how funny he was. we had a fight about what was the better favour milkshake you can get at mcdonalds. he said strawberry. the weirdo. its clearly chocolate. errmm, yea.
going to pizza hut on sunday with debbie, richard and lissa to reminisce. i always have so much fun with them<3
boy at college is making me a cd.for free.CASH BACK!!
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[13 May 2004|02:35pm] |
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you make me nervous!! xx
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[11 May 2004|02:35pm] |
Pour ceux-là de vous qui peut lire le français.
Je fou à me. peut pourquoi je n'obtiens pas des gens agréables pour rester avec moi? ils toujours partent avec hors avertissant. oh mon! Que ferai-t-j'avec me?
i was in a moaning mood and didnt want to inflict it on the rest of you. this is for you, babygirl charlotte. crack this code!<3
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